I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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