Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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