hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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