She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
