God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
