speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Life is so much better after having sex.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
