someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
