he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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