shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
