So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
