its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
