I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
