I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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