I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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