The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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