Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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