I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
cat food counts as protein by the way
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize