if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
