I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
