Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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