my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
