finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
