walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
