I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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