Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
