i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
