Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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