why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
