I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
