This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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