There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
