Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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