dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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