I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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