Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
