I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
