my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
