the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just had sex on a roof
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize