Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
