now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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