He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
