my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
