it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i dont even know how to be here
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
