I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
