okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
