Small penises have feelings too.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
