i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its about making memories worth repressing
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
