so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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