Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
