Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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