Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
