You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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