we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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