i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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