found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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