My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
