Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
