dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The best revenge is premature balding
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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