It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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