I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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