Your face is a jimmy john
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
