i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
