How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
