So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
